Plain Sailing In Schools

Schools should band together to provide social workers for unruly pupils and support groups for parents, according to the government’s “behaviour tsar”. The proposals will be among a number of suggestions included in Sir Alan Steer’s report to ministers in April.

Teaching unions say teachers need better support and fewer targets to enable them to better manage behaviour. Sir Alan said the vast majority of pupils are well behaved, despite society’s “negative” perceptions of children. But he believes more can be done earlier to prevent unruly behaviour becoming a serious problem, such as through primary schools jointly funding social work professionals.

Teaching unions have welcomed the idea, providing it does not burden them with more work, but say the real problem is that staff are ill-prepared to deal with bad behaviour. NASUWT general secretary Chris Keates said “Behaviour management training is inadequate both in initial teacher training and when teachers are in the job in schools. What’s preventing a lot of teachers from actually being able to manage behaviour effectively is the current school accountability regime which drives teachers to reach numerical targets, to teach to satisfy inspection.”

Mick Brookes, general secretary of the National Association of Head Teachers, said three in 10 teachers leave the profession in the first five years and unruly behaviour was the main cause.

Sir Alan says a more intelligent approach is needed to combating bad behaviour in the classroom. “If we can extend into schools some other services to support children, to help those children who struggle then we are far more likely to have success,” he said.

What procedures does your school have for dealing with disruptive pupils? Have you got a story you would like to share? Do you think that initial teacher training programmes should build in strategies for behaviour management?

Here are some very effective steps you can take to improve your self-esteem.

As a coach, I work hard to convince my clients that they can change. I tell them that change doesn’t always happen quickly or easily, but I work hard to empower them with the tools and strategies they need to implement change. If you suffer with low self-esteem you need to start believing that you can change it. Remember, you have to do something well to feel good about yourself.

STEP 1: CHALLENGE THE INNER VOICE

The first step is to start to challenge all those negative messages of the inner voice. For example, after being turned down for a date a person often feels embarrassed or humiliated. They tell themselves they are unattractive and that nobody will ever like or care about them, and that they will always be alone. To counteract these negative inner messages, a person has to try saying for example: “Never mind. It’s her loss that she doesn’t want to go out with me. I know I’m an attractive and good person. I will find someone else”.

Try writing down your negative inner thoughts as they come to you, and then write down your rebuttals to counteract them. This can work wonders with re-programming the mind to think more positively.

STEP 2: PRACTISE SELF-NURTURING

Write down 50 things you like about yourself. Then, add one new thing you like EVERY day. You could try keeping a Personal Success Journal which highlights all your successes, achievements and positive things – however small. Included in this, could be reminders of accomplishments such as certificates and positive letters.

Try also to plan fun and relaxing things for yourself, such as going to the cinema, having a massage, or learning to meditate. You could keep a record of these on a weekly planning sheet.

Perhaps the most important part of step 2 is to try to “fake it until you make it”. In other words, even when you don’t feel you deserve it, you must make yourself practise self-nurturing.

STEP 3: ENLIST THE SUPPORT OF OTHERS

It would be very difficult to improve self-esteem without help from others, but this can be the most difficult step. People with low self-esteem often isolate themselves, and therefore won’t ask for help because they don’t think they deserve it. As low self-esteem is often the result of how people have treated you in the past, it is all the more important to get the help of people in the present to challenge the critical messages. So, for example:

• Ask friends to tell you what you do well and write it down
• Ask them to tell you what they like about you and write it down
• Find a friend who will listen to you – to let out your feelings to, without necessarily trying to fix things for you
• Ask friends and family for more hugs
• Remind those who love you to keep telling you that they do

Finally, I would encourage you to spend 10 minutes every day alone, sitting quietly, and trying to visualise how a life of peace, happiness and high self-esteem would look and feel for you. This can be very powerful.

During this time you should think about all the things that really matter to you. You could write them down to help you identify the areas you could work even harder on and then plan the action you need to take. Remember, in order to raise self-esteem you have to try hard to do well in the things that matter to you in order to feel good about yourself!

Good luck and let me know how you get on.

Do you ever suffer from very poor self-esteem? I believe at times it can be so paralysing for an individual that it becomes almost impossible to motivate them to take action to achieve their goals.

Low self-esteem can have devastating consequences, such as:

• Anxiety, stress, loneliness and depression
• Difficulties with friendships and relationships
• Seriously impairing academic and job performance
• Underachievement and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse

All of these negative consequences only serve to reinforce a person’s negative self-image and can take them into a downward spiral, often leading to non-productive and self-destructive behaviour.

There are many different definitions of ’self-esteem’, but I like to refer to it as the extent to which we like and respect ourselves. The word ‘esteem’ comes from the Latin word which means ‘to estimate’ – in other words, it’s how you estimate yourself. A good way of assessing a person’s self-esteem is by asking them these questions:

• Do you like yourself?
• Do you think you are a good human being?
• Are you deserving of love?
• Do you deserve happiness?

People with low self-esteem often find it hard to answer ‘yes’ to these questions.

Self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves based on experiences with different people and activities. Experiences during childhood play a very large part in the shaping of our basic self-esteem. Low self-esteem is often the result of failed experiences, such as failure in sports, being harshly criticised, being ignored, ridiculed or teased, and even being yelled at or beaten.

Later on in life, self-esteem can be an outcome of what we do, and this is usually influenced by the choices we make for ourselves. I firmly believe that you have to do something well in order to feel good about yourself. I have worked with clients who have tried telling themselves over and over again that they deserve to feel great, but unless they start to do something well at the same time then it’s hard for self-esteem to rise.

The build up of past negative experiences in life only fuels a person’s so-called inner voice – by that I mean being a harsh inner critic, constantly criticising, punishing and belittling their accomplishments or lack of them. On the other hand, people with healthy self-esteem have an inner voice that conveys positive and reassuring messages.

So how can you overcome poor self-esteem? Look out for the next blog offering some simple steps to overcome it.

I wrote an article a couple of years ago about making decisions to do something about changing your life. I would like to share that with you in this blog.

We all know that to get good results we have to take new actions, and of course all our actions start from a decision: the power of decision is the power of change. After all, it is our decisions, not the conditions of our lives that determine our destiny. So, what would happen if you could always make the right decisions to help you feel happier, earn a better living, become more successful, have a better relationship, or improve virtually any area of your life?

Maybe you need to make a decision to give up smoking or drinking. Maybe you want to find a way to lose weight and get fitter. Maybe you need to find a new job or make your business more successful. Maybe it is a decision to study and develop some new skills to allow you to earn more. Maybe you simply want to start each day with a better attitude, no longer blame others and figure out some new action to make your life better. The trouble is that most people find it incredibly hard to make some of these decisions on their own.

Do you know what the major force is that controls your decisions? The force that influences how you think and feel all the time, and determines how you feel about everything that occurs in your life? That force is your beliefs. The problem is that the majority of people have a whole load of self-limiting beliefs that can almost cripple them, and they have no idea how to eradicate them and create new empowering beliefs.

Most people have something they want to change in their lives, but they do not know how to do it. The obvious way to change things is to change what you are focusing on. Focus controls how you see the world and what you do about it. Your focus can literally save your life. But again, it can be hard on your own to find the discipline, motivation, tools and techniques to steer your focus in the right direction.

When you hear about successful people achieving extraordinary, seemingly impossible goals, do you always assume that they were just fortunate? Or that you could never possibly be as successful? Most people are afraid to set goals because they fear failure. What they do not realise is that achieving the goal is not half as important as setting it and then taking massive action towards its attainment. Remember, the harder you prepare, the luckier you will get!

We all need to set inspiring goals to give our lives more focus and move in the direction we want to go. We also need to develop action steps to achieve our goals within a carefully planned and structured timetable. If you think you need some help with deciding to make important changes then please keep tuned to this site for more practical ideas and support.

Imagine what it would feel like if you could always cope easily with the demands and pressures of working in a school.

Imagine if your physical and mental well-being were always in the best of shape.

Imagine how different you would feel if you could find that extra motivation and inspiration to fulfil your roles and responsibilities in school with more flair, skill and enjoyment.

Imagine how smoothly your life would run if you had all the answers to prioritising your time with maximum effectiveness.

Imagine how much more confident you would be if you knew how to nurture first class relationships with either children, or parents, or staff.

Imagine how energised and vibrant you would feel if you had the perfect work/life balance.

Imagine how your self-confidence and self-esteem would skyrocket if you could easily identify and eradicate your self-limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns.

Imagine what it would be like to wake up one morning and feel that your passion for working in a school had suddenly been reignited.